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Doctor doctor i keep feeling, that i'm covered in gold pain.
Don't worry, its just a gilt complen. My husband is so simple he even takes a saddle and riding hat to bed with him in case of night mars.
What's the easiest way to get to heaven quickly?
Stand in the fast lane of a motor way. Patient : Doctor , Doctor , people are always ignoring me.
Doctor : Next.
Jill : Do you know what you look like with your eyes shut?
Jan: No.
Jill : Well, have a look in the mirror with your eyes shut. Father : How were your marks in the exam, daughter?
Daughter : Under water.
Father : What do you mean?
Daughter : Below C level.
What does your watch say?
Tock , Tick.
That's a bit odd, isn't it?
Yes i'm afraid it's a bit backward. If I give you 3 rabbits...and then I give you 2 rabbits...howmany will you have?"asked the math teacher. The student said "Six." "Six?" asked the math teacher. "Yes, I've got one already.
Patient : I feel funny, doctor. What should i do?
Doctor : Become a comedian. Ann : I ' m glad I wasn' t born in France .
Dan : Why 's that ?
Ann : I can ' t speak French.
Businessman : How is your typing speed coming along, Miss Smith?
Miss Smith: Oh fine thank you sir now i can make twenty mistakes a minute. Molly : What nationality are you?
Polly : Well , my father was born in Iceland & my mother was born in Cuba.
Molly : Oh , so you're an ice cube?
Man : Good Morning madam, I'm the piano tuner.
Mrs.pye : But i didn't send for.
Man : No, but your neighbour did. Careers Master : What are you going to do where you grow up ?
Boy : I ' m going to follow in my father 's footsteps and be a policeman.
Careers Master : Oh , so your father 's a policeman ?
Boy : No , He 's a burglar.
Jock : I'm sorry to hear your factory was burnt down.What did you manufactures?
Dick : Fire extinguishers. Billy : "The telephone 's ringing . Why don ' t you answer it?"
Milly : "Why should I? I don ' t know who 's calling."
Teacher : Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Pupil : Because poor people don't have any money. What did the girl put her watch in her back trouser pocket before in sitting down?
She wanted to be on time for her date.
Teacher : When was magra carta signed , Kaisie?
Maisie : At quarter past twelve , sir.
Teacher : At quarter past twelve?
Maisie : Yes, Sir 1215! Teacher : What would you like to become when you grow up?
Student : A teacher.
Teacher : why?
Student : Because I love shouting.

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