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The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?" The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."

The scene resembled that of a pre-independent era, set in the Indian territory of Puducherry, where the French were trying to infiltrate India and inflict pain upon us with their advanced weapons. Except that it was mid-May 2007 in the French town of Cannes and it was the Indians trying to infiltrate France and inflict pain upon them with our Bollywood movies. One of the stars who made her presence felt at the Cannes Fest was Preity Zinta who was there to promote her theory that she did not have an affair with Louis the XVI that caused a rift between him and Marie Antoinette. The French media responded by asking her, “Qui l’enfer vous est?” (Who the hell are you?). She screamed a flurry of obscenities in Hindi at them and asked them to pardon her French. Rumors floated that Hrithik Roshan was seen flying around the area with his right hand up in the air screaming, “The double-thumb is here.”John Abraham,...

How to Choose the Right Cell Phone for Your Blue Tooth Enabled Car Blue Tooth technology can turn your car into your own personal conference room without needing to take your eyes off the road. But, as with all great technology, you must make sure every piece is compatible. Follow the steps below to choose the right cell phone to use with your Blue Tooth enabled car. http://xrl.us/ v7xo How to Self Clean Symbian OS Nokia Cell Phone Virus Symbian OS cell phone has now gaining its popularity over other mobile operating systems (Window Mobile, Palm OS and Linux). However, it is vulnerable to a variety of viruses, such as commwarrior, cabir and etc. When we start sharing files via Bluetooth or installing application software from any untrusted source, the chances of being infected by viruses are very high. http://xrl.us/ v7xp How to Bank with a Cell Phone The electronic wallet is getting closer to reality every day. And with 35 percent of Americans already banking online, banks, led by C...

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish." The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish. His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the f**king potatoes!"

Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." " And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."

1. Pursue Achievable Goals 2. Keep Genuine Smiles 3. Share with Others 4. Help Thy Neighbors 5.Maintain a Youthful Spirit 6. Get Along with the Rich, the Poor, the Beautiful, &the Ugly 7. Keep Cool Under Pressure 8 . Lighten the Atmosphere with Humor 9. Forgive the Annoyance of Others 10. Have a Few Pals 11. Cooperate and Reap Greater Rewards 12. Treasure Every Moment with Your Love Ones 13. Have High Confidence in Yourself 14. Respect the Disadvantaged 15. Indulge Yourself Occasionally 16. Surf the Net at Leisure 17. Take Calculated Risks 18. Understand "Money Isn't Everything"

This is strange...can you figure it out? Are you the 2% or 98% of the population? Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD! · Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow. · There's no trick or surprise. · Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can! · Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done eac! h of them ... really. · Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something.) Think of a number from 1 to 10 Multiply that number by 9 If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together Now subtract 5 Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.) ...

Amazing as it sounds, but fortunately for the Muslims of the world, it is an established fact. Have a look at a map of the world and you will find Indonesia on the eastern side of the earth. The major cities of Indonesia are Java, Sumatra, Borneo and Saibil. As soon as dawn breaks on the eastern side of Saibil, at approximately 5:30 am local time, Fajar Azaan begins. Thousands of Muazzins in Indonesia begin reciting the Azaan. The process advances towards West Indonesia. One and a half hours after the Azaan has been completed in Saibil, it echoes in Jakarta. Sumatra then follows suit and before this auspicious process of calling Azaan ends in Indonesia, it has already begun in Malaysia. Burma is next in line, and within an hour of its beginning in Jakarta, it reaches Dacca, the capital city of Bangladesh. After Bangladesh, it has already prevailed in western India, from Calcutta to Srinagar. It then advances towards Bombay and the environment of entire India resounds with this proclama...

I asked God to take away my habit.* God said, No.* It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.* I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.* God said, No.* His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary* I asked God to grant me patience.* God said, No.* Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.* I asked God to give me happiness.* God said, No.* I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.* I asked God to spare me pain.* God said, No.* Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.* I asked God to make my spirit grow.* God said, No.* You must grow on your own! , but I will prune you to make you fruitful.* I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.* God said, No.* I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.* I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.* God said..*.Ahhhh, * finally you have Got the idea.

Stereotypes painted across the world Brainwashed the new-borns for national security Take away their purity to install fake Patriotic men to discriminate minority... The system Our holy system! Evil is pronounced yet the angels declare war Blood spilled for a gallon of oil Men killed for the land of sand While Head of morons play monopoly toys The system Our holy system! Debt drowned the future generation We have to pay for someone else' sin No job available for rainbow union While majority gets the best skin The system Our holy system! We try We burn We fight We suffocate In this system In our holy system! You cannot beat the system for it'd always swallow you again and again until nothing is left.I cannot beat the system for it has swallowed me my body and hope drowned in the ditch. Pull my hair; feel the pleasure Cut my legs to stop my treasure Enjoy the burn before you're done Remember the end is where it all begun. I pray you are blessed with pure happiness, Xcite s...

The Nokia 888 concept transcends conventional design and allows you to morph into any design you wish, roll it, bend it, clip it, whatever. I think specs are peripheral to the topic here. We have all seen great innovation with Nokia's phone designs especially with the Nokia 7280 . Yanko Design features the Nokia 888 which is a lightweight communication device with a totally flexible form factor. What does that mean? you can roll it, you can make it a wrist band, you can straighten it, however you want it. The site mentions use of liquid battery and flexible touch screens for the concept. Lets wait and see ...

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. you thanked her by crying all the night. . When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called. . When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor. . When you were 4 years old, she walked you into school. You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING" . When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by looping into mud. . When you were 6 years old, she gave you some crayons. You thanked her by coloring Room walls. . When you were 7 years old, she bought you a ball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor window . When you were 8, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked. . When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house . When you...

1 If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side 2 If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off. 3 Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. 4 Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it. 5 The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'. 6 The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal. 7 The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing. 8 The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night. 9 Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. 10 The roar that we hear when we place a seashell nex...

1 If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side 2 If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off. 3 Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. 4 Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it. 5 The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'. 6 The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal. 7 The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing. 8 The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night. 9 Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. 10 The roar that we hear when we place a seashell nex...

chemistryyyyy 10/2/2005 11:17 AM * What did one atom tell another? I think I lost an electron Are you sure? Yes, I'm positive. *A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube fell in love with a bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the sodium. The bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through". *Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am". *A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: "How much for a drink?" The bartender looks at him and >> >>says: "For you, it's no charge". *Why did the white drink dissolve in water? >> >>- Because it was polar. *What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? >> >>- A one molar solution. *Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? >> >>- Because ...

Dr. Tariq Al Swaidan might grasp your attention: Dr.Tarig Al Swaidan discovered some verses in the Holy Qur'an That mention one thing is equal to another, i.e. men are equal to women. Although this makes sense grammatically, the astonishing fact is that the number of times the word man appears in the Holy Qur'an is 24 and number of times the word woman appears is also 24, therefore not only is this phrase correct in the grammatical sense but also true mathematically, i.e. 24 = 24. Upon further analysis of various verses, he discovered that this is consistent throughout the whole Holy Qur'an where it says one thing is like another. See below for astonishing result of the words mentioned number of times in Arabic Holy Qur'an Dunia (one name for life) 115. Aakhirat (one name for the life after this world) 115 Malaika (Angels) 88 . Shayteen (Satan) 88 Life 145 ...... Death 145 Benefit 50 . Corrupt 50 People 50 .. Messengers 50 Eblees (king of devils) ...

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear, or are about to repeat a rumor. Phiosopher Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day he came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test." "Triple filter?" "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..." "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you...

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2) Named Tina (-4) Tina is a dancer (-6) Tina has silicon implants (-80) HER BIRTHDAY You take he...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee... A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effec...

We share the pain of those who lost their love ones in the recent earthquake. This article reported in BBC news 5 days before the earthquake reminds me of the allegedly prostitution consented by parents in Indonesia before the Tsunami disaster. Sometimes calamities despite of its horrible effects can be a blessing when it can save the survivors from being infected or consumed by the existing disease of the society or the abhorred sin. God knows best, Allah ho alam. May we be forgiven of our sins, ameen. First gay 'marriage' in Pakistan A gay couple have become the first to get "married" in Pakistan, according to reports from the region. Witnesses said a 42-year-old Afghan refugee held a marriage ceremony with a local tribesman of 16 in the remote Khyber region bordering Afghanistan. Gay marriage is not legal in conservative Muslim Pakistan. On hearing of the wedding, a tribal council told the pair to leave the area or be killed for breaking religious and tribal ...