It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, Toshiba, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history." Who said "Give me Liberty,or give me death?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.
"Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Toshiba, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.
At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed, "I'm gonna throw up."
Teacher says "Who said that?".
Again, Toshiba raises his hand and says "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Well, suck my..."
Once again, it's Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."
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Lover Woman
A woman takes a lover in the afternoon while her husband is working. One day her little boy comes home early and she puts him in the closet. Then the husband comes home early too, she puts the lover in the same closet.
Boy: Sure is dark in here.
Lover: Sure is.
Boy: I have a baseball
Lover: How nice.
Boy: Want to buy it?
Lover: How much?
Boy: $25.00
Lover: That's outrageous.
Boy: My dad is outside.
Lover: Okay I will buy it.
A few weeks later the same thing happens and they both end up in the closet again.
Boy: Sure is dark in here
Lover: Sure is.
Boy: I have a baseball glove.
Lover: (Remembering the last time) says "How much?"
Boy: $75.00
The lover buys the glove.
Shortly after the father says to the boy," Lets go out and catch some ball." The little boy says he can't because he sold his ball and glove.
Father: For how much?
Boy: $100.00.
Father: That was much more than they were worth that is terrible to over charge your friends like that I think you need to go to church and confess.
So the father takes the boy to church and the little boy gets into the confessional and waits for the priest. He hears the door close on the other side and he says "Sure is dark in here" and the priest says "Don't start that stuff again!"
The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history." Who said "Give me Liberty,or give me death?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.
"Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Toshiba, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.
At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed, "I'm gonna throw up."
Teacher says "Who said that?".
Again, Toshiba raises his hand and says "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Well, suck my..."
Once again, it's Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."
________________________________________
Lover Woman
A woman takes a lover in the afternoon while her husband is working. One day her little boy comes home early and she puts him in the closet. Then the husband comes home early too, she puts the lover in the same closet.
Boy: Sure is dark in here.
Lover: Sure is.
Boy: I have a baseball
Lover: How nice.
Boy: Want to buy it?
Lover: How much?
Boy: $25.00
Lover: That's outrageous.
Boy: My dad is outside.
Lover: Okay I will buy it.
A few weeks later the same thing happens and they both end up in the closet again.
Boy: Sure is dark in here
Lover: Sure is.
Boy: I have a baseball glove.
Lover: (Remembering the last time) says "How much?"
Boy: $75.00
The lover buys the glove.
Shortly after the father says to the boy," Lets go out and catch some ball." The little boy says he can't because he sold his ball and glove.
Father: For how much?
Boy: $100.00.
Father: That was much more than they were worth that is terrible to over charge your friends like that I think you need to go to church and confess.
So the father takes the boy to church and the little boy gets into the confessional and waits for the priest. He hears the door close on the other side and he says "Sure is dark in here" and the priest says "Don't start that stuff again!"
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